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| My husband is his own boss. Why can't I be his boss? |
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| En la playa con amigos. |
Mondays- Beach.
Tuesdays- Park and Vitamin City.
Wednesdays- Play date at Gloria's.
Thursdays- Park, Library.
Fridays- Farmer's Market.
That's the kids. Then, there's the Cafe, my Husband, Womb Wellness clients, Doula clients, my collective of Indigenous healers, my family, friends, blog, a score of internet programs I'm enrolled in, and social networking sites (how'd that make it on this list?).
My husband and I had a "discussion" (I'm trying to use positive language) about how I need to focus on being more productive. Trying not to take it personally (one of the Four Agreements), I agreed with him, and now find myself wading in a swamp of I-guess-I'm-disorganized-after-all.
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| Watching Zumba at our Farmer's Market |
Sometimes, my husband is right. But he, and- forgive me for generalizing- most men, don't understand that raising children is the hardest work a human being can partake in. So, yes, your majesty, I'll contribute more money, so you don't have to miss out on fun things, like building a plumbing system of sand, saltwater, and some pvc pipes... Or riding bikes to the farmer's market, and drive-by sampling freshly cut summer fruit. It's all play, and no work in parenting!
I tell my clients, "Illness comes from excessiveness": too much stress; too little sleep; too much bitterness; not enough water, etc. Well, I need to let go of the perfect mom fantasy I have going. I can't stay with them 24/7 and not go crazy, I can't let my husband bring in most of the cash, so I can ferment everything, cook from scratch, homeschool, and be super mom. Most of all, I can't keep ignoring my husband's need to be around his boys.
There comes a time when a strong
mujer must take what her husband says and actually value it. It's a struggle being in a relationship with a man. It's easier to take my anger out on male privilege instead of look at the bigger picture. It's tough to ask myself if I smell the stench of patriarchy in my kitchen- or whether it's my emotional baggage from internalized oppression.
As generations of colonialism plays Jedi mind tricks on me, and I struggle to figure all of this out, I express gratitude. Thank you, Sherman, for your diligence. Thank you, Panquetzani, for being a skeptic.
Gracias, niños, for loving your parents unconditionally, while we get our act together. No matter how life changing a "discussion" is, it's nice to remind myself that we both have our children in mind, that I rock, and my Hubbie is pretty okay, too.
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| Visit to the Museum, in the kids' area. |
